One week in November 2016

November 8th, 2016 was one of the worst days of my life, as the only home I know elected a monster to be our President. As we head into a democracy-defining election in 2020, I thought I’d republish my social media posts from one 7 day span four years ago. This all still feels relevant.

Vote. Be safe.

November 3rd, 8am

I've been thinking a lot about "American exceptionalism" over the past year and a half. In a world as connected as ours, it's an odd notion, but I have to admit that growing up here made me feel like we were onto something special.

What makes the USA special? Is it core values and principles? Imagination and work ethic? Diversity and culture? A commitment to make the world better? The notion of the American Dream? Or more likely some wonderful combination of all of these?

I then think about this election season and how it seems to have brought out the worst in us.

I'm not afraid to admit that in the 4 historical Presidential elections I have been lucky enough to vote in, I've chosen 3 candidates in 3 different political parties in 3 different states. I've literally been all over the map and the spectrum.

This is the first time I've ever seen a candidate for President who I feel does not embody *any* of the qualities that either make America great or give America the potential to be great: Donald J. Trump.

Core values and principles? Donald Trump is mendacious, capricious, petty, and philandering. He talks of jailing political opponents and grabbing women "by the pussy". He apologizes for nothing and benefits himself off the backs of others. And he's attacked war heroes from John McCain to Humayan Khan.

Imagination and work ethic? Donald Trump is fundamentally unserious, uncommitted, and uncreative when it comes to thinking of ways to identify and solve our nation's problems. His proposals that do exist lack any sense of practicality or rationality.

Diversity and culture? Donald Trump started his campaign by calling Mexicans drug dealers and rapists. He called a Miss Universe contestant "Miss Housekeeping" because of her descent and he said that a federal judge cannot perform his job objectively because of Mexican heritage. And he's talked of illegally banning an entire religion, Islam, from our country.

A commitment to make the world better? Donald Trump has claimed that global warming is a Chinese conspiracy. He openly praises dictators and despots and favorably compares them to our elected leaders because of the power they exude, not the actions they take.

The notion of the American Dream? Donald Trump plans to deport millions of American citizens because their parents are undocumented. He has a demonstrated pattern of commissioning work and not paying for it, which robs Americans of their livelihood.

I'll stop there. That was cathartic to write, but I'm not sure it solves anything.

On Tuesday, November 8th, at least 45% of Americans are going to pull the lever for this man. No matter whether he wins or loses, we are going to have to come to terms with this. Nearly half of Americans are going to vote for a man who embodies none of the properties that actually make America special.

We have to own this and rise up if we truly believe in American exceptionalism.

(Notably absent from this post is Hillary Clinton. For the record, I love her. She has flaws, some of them serious, but she's a dedicated and accomplished public servant with a mastery of the nuances of our issues. I don't believe that she is a mere "lesser of two evils" in any respect.)

November 8th, 10am

Let's make history today. #imwithher

November 8th, 10pm

In legit tears right now. This is the country I always feared it was, but always hoped it wasn't.

November 9th, 9am

Some random morning thoughts (apologies, I'm working high on emotion and low on sleep):

1. I do truly empathize with folks who felt they didn't recognize America and wanted to take it back. I am feeling that today from the opposite side. This feels meaningful, no one truly recognizing their country. I'm not sure how we got to be this way, and it's a problem worth fixing.

2. I'm encouraged that many of Trump's supporters voted for him due to his message of fixing Washington, while also rejecting his wall and Muslim ban policies. Yes, many of his supporters were drawn to Trump because of sheer racism but a large chunk of his electorate weren't, and those are now the most important voices for us to find common ground with.

3. I'm floored and humbled by our collective display of love as the bad news came in. We truly are a better society when we come together. I was encouraged that Trump emphasized that point in his speech last night.

4. I feel devastated for Hillary and I truly feel that sexism is alive and well. She was a flawed candidate and represented Washington in yet another election where that was a liability, but it's hard to see someone so talented and qualified go out this way.

5. I am concerned that 30 years of telling Americans that "government is the problem" and campaigns like this will push true talents in my generation out of public service. It's hard to see upside through the ugliness. Why deal with it?

6. I completely understand the "why" of change politics. I am still stunned that anyone could feel that Trump is the solution. But we have no choice but to lean in and make our voices heard. This is our country.

November 10th, 1pm

"Hey, how are you doing?" "Great, and you?" "Great!"

We each have that exact conversation dozens of times in a week. It's a formality, something we say to each other to acknowledge each other's existence before moving on to more "important" things. It's not until something shakes us to our core that we start to answer that question honestly and listen, truly listen to each other.

I bring a little personal baggage to the table right now. It's nothing major compared to what others have been through, but I figured I'd share. I grew up in suburban Ohio and was largely happy and felt loved. But there was darkness there as well.

In 4th grade someone told me I looked like I'd been stuck in a toaster. In later years, I'd been picked up and thrown down to the asphalt at recess, I'd have kids throw things at me when I wasn't looking and then laugh when I refused to react, I'd have someone point and laugh when I wore the same t-shirt too many times, I was told that I'd be going to hell because of my religious beliefs, and I was physically attacked a handful of times.

In the back of my mind I always wondered, was this primarily because I look different? I always kept those thoughts in the back of my mind. So far back that I never told anyone, not even my sister and certainly not my parents, for fear of escalating something I thought I could handle into a bigger deal.

"How are you doing?" "Great!" That was always the answer.

Today I am not doing great. I am devastated. And it's been great to be able to say that and talk about it.

I will never forget the outpouring of thoughts this week, some from people I talk to every day, some from people I hadn't heard from in over a decade, some who are super liberals, others who are conservatives. I love you all.

I'm not a real victim, my story is nothing. But others are today, or feel like they might be tomorrow. They need us now.

Let's all reach out and ask each other "how are you doing" - especially to our friends who are Latino or Muslim or LGBT or female or just plain scared. And let's answer honestly. Talking about it helps.

This one is tougher, but I wonder if we should also aggressively reach out to our friends, our true friends, who are happy and energized by Tuesday's election results. That is awesome that a lot of Americans are feeling good vibes right now. Can we find some common solace, a reason to believe, a silver lining?

More than anything, though, I think we should all never stop asking the question, openly and honestly. Maybe our divisions as a country originally stemmed from our inability to make ourselves vulnerable. To say we feel uncomfortable or afraid. To truly ask the question, and to truly care about the answer.

Politics should be about more than winning & losing or even policy. It should be about connecting with our fellow American.

Peace and love to all of you out there. ♥

Ronjan Sikdar