"The Bluth Family": An Encanto-Arrested Development Crossover

Two years ago, Disney’s Encanto was everywhere. If you were a parent, you probably saw the movie a dozen times and heard the songs even more than that. In my case, literally hundreds of times more.

Oh my. Yeah, it was a lot. And look, when you’re exposed to anything that many times it does things to your brain.

I needed an outlet from all of this Encanto so I decided I’d write a parody song of the opening number, La Familia Madrigal, and I’d write it about the Bluth family from the TV comedy Arrested Development. It seemed like a decent match based on the different familial relationships and wacky personalities that each family has.

I wrote the song two Januaries ago. Check! Now it was time to record it.

Here’s the problem. I can’t sing, unless I’m at karaoke, in which case I’m incredible. (Facts.)

I sit here two years later with the lyrics still stashed in my Google Drive account, for no one to hear. And I’m not satisfied. I don’t have closure. So here’s my game plan: I’m going to post my lyrics below so my part of this is “done”. If you want to sing it, to find your own parental form of closure, this is my gift to you. If you don’t care or hate it, that’s okay too.

Here I officially present, La Familia Bluth, sung to the tune of La Familia Madrigal:

Michael Bluth singing:
Our model home, we’ve got every generation
So full of money, build up houses we design
This is my family, an awful conflagration
So many sparks, and everybody has to whine, whoa!
But let’s be clear, George Senior runs this show, whoa!
He built this up so many years ago, whoa!
And every year our family fortunes grow!
There’s just a lot you’ve simply got to know, so
Welcome to the Bluth familia!
The home of the Bluth familia
Where all the people are really, uh, yeah, really uhhhh
I’m part of the Bluth familia

Lucille my mother can drink like no other
When she’s insulting, she eviscerates and is feared
My tío Oscar
[We don’t talk about Oscar!]
He’s George’s twin and he’s a hippie who is weird, oh!
And that’s my brother GOB, and here’s his deal, whoa!
The truth is he’s a magician I’m for real, whoa!
Not magic tricks: illusions with a seal
Don’t be impressed, that’s clearly how I feel
Welcome to the Bluth familia!
The home of the Bluth familia
Where all the people are really, uh, yeah, really uhhhh
I’m part of the Bluth familia

(Repeat the second verse in the original song)
My twinnie Lindsey, an activist who sins, she
Picks her causes, flips and flops, on every side
Her beau Tobias, poor, confused Tobias
He lost his doctor license, acting is what he’ll try, oh!
And that’s my brother Buster, what a nerd, whoa!
He makes sure that he’s neither seen nor heard, whoa!
He freaks out if he ever sees a bird
A mama’s boy, plays soccer like a turd
Welcome to the Bluth familia!
The home of the Bluth familia
Where all the people are really, uh, yeah, really uhhhh
I’m part of the Bluth familia

George Senior singing:
We swear to always build up around us
And earn the money that somehow found us
The company’s growing, the OC keeps turning
But embezzlement and treason will keep our profits flowing
And each new generation, paperwork shredding or burning!

Michael Bluth singing:
Okay, okay, okay, okay
Two teenage kids in our house
So let’s turn the sound up, you know why?
I think it’s time for a grandkid round up
[Grandkid round up]
First we’ve got Maeby, that is Lindsey’s baby
She’s slick and clever, more mature than she appears
She’s got a crush on a jock they call him Steve Holt
He also calls himself Steve Holt! Four more years, whoa!
George Michael he’s my son and he’s so sweet, whoa!
He manages the Banana Stand beat, whoa!
I’m a single dad and that is quit neat
He’s the best of us, and that is quite a feat
Welcome to the Bluth familia!
The home of the Bluth familia
Where all the people are really, uh, yeah, really uhhhh
I’m part of the Bluth familia