Four decades, four Ronjans
I turned 40 earlier this month. As one does at major milestone moments, I spent a lot of August reflecting on my life thus far. “The first half”, so to speak, *knock on wood*. It hasn’t always been pretty, and there have been some sleepless-because-of-existential-dread nights, but I’m on the other side and ready for what’s next. Finally.
One exercise that I found fun was to look back at the Ronjan for each decade milestone and rediscover who I was, what motivated me, and who I wanted to be at each stage. I don’t know if it will be fun to read, but, hey, this is my blog and it was fun to write. So here goes.
10-year-old Ronjan: August 1992, rising 5th grader
10-year-old Ronjan was a super competitive go-getter. I wouldn’t just expect to get perfect scores on my math or spelling tests in 4th grade - but I’d strive to be the first to finish so I could run up to the front of the class and turn it in. Ultimate flex.
Music was already a huge part of my life by then. I’d toured Asia a few months before I turned ten as a violinist in the Cincinnati Junior Strings and I had no context for how incredibly lucky I was to have that experience. And wow, did I love performing on the piano - you’re the star of the show.
I already loved numbers and rating things. A year earlier in third grade I ranked everyone I knew based on how much I liked them. I’d soon be listening to Casey Kasem’s Top 40 every Sunday morning and tracking the week-to-week movements of my favorite songs on the charts. Numbers were my friends.
I was absurdly small in stature at that age, and I’d already had my first experience being physically bullied. I learned that I’d have to talk my way out of scary situations and I’d need friends to help me. My best friend in 4th grade was the biggest kid in the class, a gentle giant named Oliver. (Oliver passed away a few years ago. Miss you buddy. </3)
My ultimate goal in life was to either become a world class pianist because I loved the stage so much or become a neurosurgeon because I thought it was the most challenging job that exists. Go big, I suppose.
Favorite TV shows / movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Favorite video games: Super Mario World, Street Fighter II
Favorite sports teams: Denver Broncos, Colorado Buffaloes (football), Cincinnati Reds
Top free time activity: practicing piano and violin, playing video games
Where I turned 10: at a Don Pablo’s in Cincinnati wearing a birthday sombrero
20-year-old Ronjan: August 2002, heading into Junior Year of college
20-year-old Ronjan was the ultimate coaster. I’d just finished my sophomore year at Carnegie Mellon University and I was putting in the bare minimum at school in order to orient my life around two niche passions, sports statistics and video game music.
I struggled greatly without the structure provided by middle and high school. Without a consistent school and orchestra schedule dictating where I should be and any given time, I found myself skipping class frequently and slipping into an almost nocturnal existence early in college. I’m not at my best when I’m left to my own devices.
After spending 3+ hours every day for most of the prior ten years practicing or performing music, I’d almost completely stopped playing piano and violin in college. I’d stay in touch with music in a more creative way, though, as I’d remix video game tunes in Mario Paint or a MIDI sequencer.
Sports was more central to my life at 20 than at any other point. While I was terrible, I loved playing tennis, football, and basketball. I watched every big game in every major sport. I played countless hours of Madden on PlayStation 2. And I’d run analytics on fantasy football, allowing me to compete in an expert fantasy league comprised of people who spent hours a day on fantasy football message boards. (I’d even go on to win that 60-team league in 2003.)
I started college as an engineering major, but it became clear pretty early on that I simply had no interest in it. I transferred to the undergrad business program in sophomore year and I found it to be much less challenging. Out of boredom, I decided to sabotage my grades early in my most recent semester to see if I could rebound and pull out the A’s. (I did.) I had no idea what I wanted to do after college or what this business degree was building towards.
Favorite TV shows / movies: The Simpsons, Family Guy, Office Space
Favorite video games: Madden NFL 2002, NCAA Football 2002
Favorite sports teams: Denver Broncos, San Antonio Spurs, Colorado Buffaloes, Cincinnati Reds, Colorado Avalanche
Top free time activity: playing video games, doing sports analytics, remixing music
Where I turned 20: probably Cincinnati, although I can’t remember how I celebrated!
30-year-old Ronjan: August 2012, 8 year employee at Nielsen
30-year-old Ronjan was finally figuring out adulting. I’d just gotten married. I’d been at Nielsen for 8 stable years across two departments and was planning my next move. I had structure back in my life, and it was working.
Nielsen was truly an incredible place for me coming out of college. It provided a safe corporate learning environment that rarely dipped into Office Space hellscape territory. I was able to flex my analytical muscles in new ways, especially when I could run point on various innovation efforts. And the corporate culture allowed me to build many of the best friendships I’ll ever have in life.
With my career taking on a central place in my life, focal areas like video game music and sports analytics took a back seat. And I don’t think I had regrets about that - because work life was that fulfilling. Plus, I was making money. Someone was actually paying me to nerd out with numbers!
After holding out for years, I joined Facebook in 2008 and quickly became an avid user of the platform. Being connected to everyone I ever knew was revelatory, and I made it a point to post something every day. I probably posted too much. Definitely too much.
A lot of what I posted about was politics. I’d been enamored by Barack Obama’s message in 2008 and he became the first politician that I ever truly believed in. His campaign shook me of my cynicism and unlocked the dreamer within. That would go on to be one of my greatest strengths.
After living in Cincinnati for most of my life, I bought an apartment with my then-girlfriend (now-wife) in New York City in 2006. Now six years into life as a New Yorker, I knew I could never go back to Ohio. Well, for one, I married a life-long New Yorker who’ll never leave the big city. But beyond that, the sheer energy of New York inspired and fueled me. I needed it in my life. I’d never be a coaster again.
Favorite TV shows / movies: Arrested Development, The Wire, The Prestige
Favorite video games: Mass Effect series, Uncharted series, NBA 2K series
Favorite sports teams: San Antonio Spurs
Top free time activity: world travel
Where I turned 30: crossing the international date line on a westbound flight to Asia on my honeymoon
40-year-old Ronjan: August 2022, 5 months in at Meta
40-year-old Ronjan is finding balance. My 30s were defined by two things - becoming a father and incredible professional development. I want to keep both going without compromises. We’ll see if that is possible.
I’d always wanted to be a father, so it was a thrill of a lifetime when Damon came around 8 years ago. He was the first baby I ever held, and to this day he rarely leaves my side. It’s hard to comprehend that when I’m 50, he’ll likely be leaving the house to go to college. Whatever, that’s next decade’s problem. For now, he’s my top priority.
Work-wise, I figured out a 4-year career growth loop of learn, master, expand, and find what’s next. It served me well for several cycles and nearly 18 years at Nielsen doing almost every job they had. It’s crazy in retrospect how much I got to learn and experience: leading and organizing a team of over 100 people, helping a startup integrate into a big company, figuring out how to lead during a pandemic, helping a team through the death of a key team member, pushing for diversity & inclusion in our core business, building a strong team culture, and leading a flagship product build. Whew.
And then I left. It was an extremely difficult and emotional decision. Nielsen was a core of my personal identity and now I was a stranger in a strange land, Meta.
I truly never expected to come to Meta, but the chance to learn something new, see if my shit works somewhere else, and meet new people has been invigorating. The ennui of staleness in my life as I approached 40 is gone. Yes, I’ve lived in the same building for 16 years, but I can still make big changes in my life.
Finally, music and sports analytics have found small ways back into my life. I bought a saxophone earlier this year without realizing that you can’t possibly play a sax in a NYC apartment. Whoops! But I’ve started notating pieces for Damon and friends to play on the piano, and I’ve gotten back into Mario Paint music too. And I taught myself Python in order to run the NBA and NFL power rankings that I update every day. My passions are uncompromisingly coming full circle, and I feel whole again.
Favorite TV shows / movies: Game of Thrones until it became terrible, Knives Out
Favorite video games: Super Mario Odyssey, Animal Crossing
Favorite sports teams: NYCFC, somehow
Top free time activity: pretty much whatever Damon wants to do
Where I turned 40: Boulder, Colorado, to go back to my roots with my full family